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HISTORY X.--A.H., aged 62. Belongs to a family which cannot be
regarded as healthy, but there is no insanity among near
relations. Father a very virile man of high character and good
intelligence, but not sound physical health. Mother was
high-strung and nervous, but possessed of indomitable courage and
very affectionate; she lived very happily with her husband. She
became a chronic invalid and died of consumption. A.H. was a
seven months' child, the third in the family, who were born very
rapidly, so that there is only three years difference in the ages
of the first and third children. A.H. believes that one of his
brothers, who has never married and prefers men to women, is also
inverted, though not to the same degree as himself, and he also
suspects that a relation of his mother's may have been an invert.
Sister, who resembles the father in character, is married, but is
spoken of as a woman's woman rather than a man's woman. The
family generally are considered proud and reserved, but of
superior mental endowment.
In early life A.H. was delicate and his studies were often
interrupted by illness. Though living under happy conditions he
was shy and nervous, often depressed. In later life his health
has been up to the average, and he has usually been able to
conceal his mental doubts and diffidence.
As a child he played with dolls and made girls his companions
until an age when he grew conscious that his conduct was unusual
and became ashamed, while his father seemed troubled about him.
He regards himself as having been a very childish child.
His conscious sexual life began between the ages of 8 and 10. He
was playing in the garden when he saw a manservant who had long
been with the family, standing at the door of a shed with his
penis exposed and erect. The boy had never seen anything of the
kind before, but felt great delight in the exhibition and moved
shyly toward the man, who retreated into the shed. The boy
followed and was allowed to caress and play with the penis until
ejaculation took place, the man replying, in reply to the child's
innocent inquiries, that it "felt good." This experience was
frequently repeated with the same man, and the boy confided in a
boy friend, with whom he tried to ascertain by personal
experience what the "good feeling" was like, but they were too
young to derive any pleasure from the attempt beyond the joy of
what was instinctively felt to be "eating forbidden fruit."
From this period his sexual tendencies began to become fixed and
self-conscious. He has never at any period of life had a moment's
conscious sexual attraction toward a person of the opposite sex.
His warmest friendships have, indeed, been with women and much,
perhaps most, of the happiness he has enjoyed has been furnished
by those friendships. But passion has only been aroused by
persons of his own sex, generally by men much younger than
himself. He feels shy and uncomfortable in the presence of men
of his own age. But even at his present age, a touch of a man or
boy may cause the liveliest gratification.
Shortly after the incident in boyhood, already narrated, A.H.
induced a little boy companion to go to a quiet spot, where, at
A.H.'s suggestion, each placed the other's penis in his mouth by
turns. A.H. had never heard of such a proceeding. It was a
natural instinct. He began to masturbate at an early age. But he
soon found a companion to share his passion. An older man,
especially, married and with a family, became his accomplice on
every possible opportunity, and they would manipulate each other.
At the age of 21, _fellatio_ began to be practised with this man.
It became a lifelong practice, and the preferred method of sexual
gratification. He likes best to have it performed on himself, but
he has never asked anyone to do for him what he would not himself
do for the other if desired. There has never been _pedicatio_.
The penis, it may be added, is of good size, and the testicles
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