|• Main||• Contacts|
sympathy with certain 'grosser manifestations of masculine
character, such as smoking.' Some women think me unusually
observing of women's dress. My own is by no means effeminate. In
a muscular way I have average strength, but am supple far beyond
what is usual. If trained for it early, I believe I would have
made a good contortionist.
"I have never had the least inclination to use tobacco, generally
take neither tea nor coffee, and seldom any liquor, never malt
liquors. The dessert is always the best part of the meal. These
tastes I attribute largely to my sedentary life. When out camping
I observed a marked change in the direction of heartier food and
"My physical courage has never been put to the test, but I
observe that others appear to count on it. I am very aggressive
in matters of religious, political, social opinion. In moral
courage I am either reckless or courageous, I do not know which.
"I am, perhaps, a better whistler than most men.
"When I was quite little my grandmother taught me to do certain
kinds of fancy-work, and I continued to do a little from time to
time until I was 24. Then I became irritated over a piece that
troubled me, put it in the fire, and have not wanted to touch any
since. As a pet economy I continue to do nearly all of my own
"I have a decided aversion for much jewelry. My estheticism is
very pronounced as compared with most of the men with whom I
associate, although I have never been able to give it much scope.
It makes for cleanliness, order, and general good taste. My dress
is economical and by no means fastidious; yet it seems to be
generally approved. I have been complimented often on my ability
to select appropriate presents, clothing, and to arrange a room."
M.O. states that he practises the love-bite at times, though very
gently. He often wants to pinch one who interests him sexually.
He considers very silly the statement somewhere made, that
inverts are always liars. Very few people, he says, are perfectly
honest, and the more dangerous society makes it for a man to be
so, the less likely he is to be. While he himself has been unable
in two or three instances to keep promises made to withhold from
sexual intercourse with certain attractive individuals, he has
never otherwise been guilty of untruth about his homosexual
The foregoing narrative was received eight years ago. During this
interval M.O.'s health has very greatly improved. There has been
a marked increase in outdoor activities and interests.
Two years since M.O. consulted a prominent specialist who
performed a thorough psychoanalysis. He informed M.O. that he
was less strongly homosexual than he himself supposed, and
recommended marriage with some young and pretty woman. He
attributed the homosexual bent to M.O.'s having had his "nose
broken" at the age of 6, by the birth of a younger brother, who
from that time on received all the attention and petting. M.O.
had continued up to that age very affectionate toward his mother
and dependent on her. He can remember friends and neighbors
commenting on it. At first M.O. was inclined to reject this
suggestion of the specialist, but on long reflection he inclines
to believe that it was indeed a very important factor, though not
the sole one. From his later observations of children and
comparisons of these with memories of his own childhood, M.O.
says he is sure he was affectionate and demonstrative much beyond
the average. His greatest craving was for affection, and his
greatest grief the fancied belief that no one cared for him. At
10 or 11 he attempted suicide for this reason.
Also as a result of the psychoanalysis, but trying to eliminate
the influence of suggestion, he recollects and emphasizes more
the attraction he felt toward girls before the age of 12. Had his
sexual experiences subsequently proved normal, he doubts if those
before 12 could be held to give evidence of homosexuality, but
Page 4 from 7: Back 1 2 3  5 6 7 Forward